Monday, April 23, 2012

Dear Mom and Dad

Dear Mom and Dad,

I just wanted to tell you how much I embrace the life you gave me. In July of last year, your plan for me was born, a thought planted in your hearts and nourished by your unfailing love. Oh, how exciting it was to grow cell by cell, day by day. Then one glorious day in late summer, I could feel it! Thump-thump. Thump-thump. My own little heart started beating, rhythmically pounding out the melody of life. I relished hearing my heart in concert with yours, Mother. Your heart beat was soothing to me. I easily fell asleep to its hypnotizing cadence. I felt safe and protected, warm in your womb's embrace.

Mom, I heard you sing to me. Your sweet voice was music to my ears; a pleasant sound delightfully muffled by the water surrounding me. I smiled every time I heard you speak. Yes, I heard the idle chat of those around you, but there was no mistaking your voice. I could have picked it out of a chorus of thousands. I hung on your every word. I always wished I could put a face to your voice. But that would have to wait a while longer. Still, I knew nothing but a beautiful woman could be behind your kind words of affection.

But Daddy, I heard you, too. I loved it when you put your ear to Mommy's belly, listening as I flutter-kicked my way across the pool. When you put your hand on Mom's cute little baby bump, I swung my arms and did a few deep knee-bends just to get your attention. I was so pleased each time I heard you nearly shout with pleasure, "I feel him! I feel him moving."  Daddy, I'll let you in on a secret: I was playing with you, ya know. Sometimes I played hide and seek just so you would come back later and look for me. You thought I was sleeping, but I wasn't. I laughed every time I fooled you! I liked to play with you, Dad. I'm so glad you liked to play, too.

As I grew into a big boy, I have to admit it was getting a little crowded in my bubbled home. I liked it, to be sure. I got to be with you every minute, Mom. You took me wherever you went. Yippee! Lots of field trips. Loved to travel! I got to see and do so much. But, Daddy, don't feel bad. I know you were there, too. Somebody had to drive the car!

Then one day, I got the sense something was changing. I did a flip turn and felt myself get pushed along head first. It was pretty exciting. Maybe this was the day I dreamed about. Maybe this was the day I would get to see you face-to-face, Mom and Dad.

Sure enough, there you were. It all happened so quickly, but I saw you. I really did! I was so excited I could hardly stand it. You were more beautiful than I even imagined! But just when I was about to give you big scream, something wasn't quite right. I closed my eyes and settled into your comforting caress.

Mom and Dad, those days we shared were precious. Thank you for staying by my side. I loved you being near. I felt your fingers wrap around mine. I sighed contentedly when you rubbed my head. I know your tears flowed out of love for me. On the inside, I was crying, too. I love you both so much.

But I'm not crying anymore, Mother. And Daddy, guess what? You'll be glad to know a kind angel carried me to the arms of Jesus. He loves me and he told me he loves you, too.

But do you know what else I learned? Where can I go from his Spirit? Where can I flee from his presence?  If I go up to the heavens, he is there;  if I make my bed in the depths, he is there. If I rise on the wings of the dawn, if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there his hand will guide me, his right hand will hold me fast. If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,” even the darkness will not be dark to him; the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to him. For he created my inmost being; he knit me together in your womb, Mother. I praise him because I was fearfully and wonderfully made; his works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from him when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. His eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in his book before one of them came to be. How precious to me are his thoughts! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand— when I awake, I am still with you.

I know we can trust God, Mom and Dad. He made me just the way he wanted. God shared me with you for nine wonderful, joyful months. I know we were just getting used to living together. None of us saw this coming. But God says that you can come live here too, one day. He says he has a house waiting for us. I think I might decorate it just the way you like, Mom.

I will never forget you. Never. Ever. I love you with all my heart and soul. You loved me into existence and no one can take that away. But for now, I will close this letter and await the day when I can see you again.

Ezra Ryan Masters
Conceived to life, July 2011
Born to the world, April 21, 2012
Returned to the Father, April 23, 2012


Rita B said...


Rebekah Trittipoe said...

Thanks, Rita. I hope it will be an encouragement to Ryan and Georgie.

AM said...

beautiful. this is a gift rebekah, to any parent who has lost a baby. in tears over here. it is horrible and hopeful all at the same time.