Lesson #5 to Self: The art of becoming resilient

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Resiliency is not for the weak of heart. I should know because I've had lots of practice trying to get it right. Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t. But I am now in a situation that requires that I figure it out sooner rather than later.

A lovely run January 12th was the start of it. In the aftermath of that jaunt along country roads, the back of my knee started hurting. I wasn’t too worried, giving it a rest and increasing my time in the pool and in the weight room. But it never seemed to get better despite running (or trying to) every couple of days. The pain never got better. By the end of January, it was hard to be positive, desperately missing the mountain trails and friends who joined me there.

February ushered in more of the same. By the time my sweeping responsibilities for a 50K trail race rolled around (course demarking for those who might be picturing a broom in hand), I took the “come hell or high water” approach. The 33-degree torrential downpour certainly provided the high water component (literally) and the hell part was how my knee felt by the time I finished the assignment. Ugh.

Yesterday I resigned myself to the fact that my “it will eventually heal if I rest it” approach was not working. Hence, I walked myself into an orthopedic urgent care. X-rays failed to show any bony structural issues other than mild arthritis. The provider suggested a steroid shot and a 30-day wait for another appointment and possible MRI. I agreed. What did I have to lose?

Despite a glimmer of hope, last night I cancelled my upcoming 24-hour race, a mere three weeks from now. Even if my knee makes a miraculous recovery, continuous forward motion for that long would likely not help. However, I have set my sights on other races in the coming months.

Now comes the hard work. How will I manage the physical and mental aspects of rebounding from this ill-defined injury? I will need to be smart, calculating, and strategic. I know there will be good days and bad. I must fight with all my might the enemy of inevitable discouragement. And I must see each day as an opportunity to be resilient in body, mind, and spirit.

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